Here on my blog I will write about the good, the bad and the ugly. I have been having a hard time lately and thought it would work as therapy for me to get some of this out. Let me first say that I know some of this will not be believed by some of my readers. But I swear that it happened, and it has turned me into the person I am today.
I was never popular at all in school, mostly because I was the teacher`s pet and always got the best grades. The teachers loved me, and the other kids just couldn`t stand me. Several times I was kicked so hard in my back that my head hit the wall and it felt like it was being crushed. The other kids did everything to break me down. When we had gym class, I was always the last to be picked out to be on teams. I was bullied for being the best student, for having long hair, for having a mother and grandfather who were well known in the community and so many other things.
When I developed anorexia, I was bullied for that as well. Let me tell you a story. One boy, Rune, had a particular dislike for me. My hair was down to my butt, and he always used to say that “she will use her hair to wipe her ass.” I hated him so much. Many years later I found an article in the newspaper. It was about him, now a heroin addict. He told a sob story about him being diagnosed with ADHD, HIM being severely bullied in school and lots of other lies. I remember thinking I hope he dies and goes to hell, and I will personally show up and piss on his grave.
It wasn`t just me that was being picked on by this boy, it was mainly weaker boys as well. He picked one of them up right in front of me and put the boy`s face in a pile of dog feces, while kicking him.
Lots of us went through hell. One boy made up a story of me being drunk downtown. This was of course a load of crap, but he insisted on it and told everybody. My dad had to go to his house and talk to his parents, and he later came to our house and apologized to me. The next years in school, after we had switched schools, every time he saw me he would tell everybody that I was sick, a liar, a mental case, a loser and everything else you can come up with.
I struggled for many years, and even to this day, I sometimes wake up screaming, because I am so afraid of being sent back to school. I probably have a case of PTSD because of everything I went through. Nightmares, flashbacks, extreme panic and anxiety…I have lived through it all.
Now I want to tell you about being sexually abused, and this contains adult language, so if you can`t take it, please go somewhere else.
In my neighbourhood lived a girl who was one year younger than me, her name was Anne. She was very sexual, and looking back on it, she was probably abused as well. She had a thing for other girls, and they lived in several different houses, so she would always be showing everybody around at her new house.
I have been reading Gail Dines`Pornland about how porn has hijacked our sexuality. Maybe she was a victim of that, because she certainly knew what to do. She orally raped me several times, and also made me perform on her, which made me vomit, and that is in part how my bulimia started. She had a hygiene issue, and it was an EXTREMELY unpleasant experience. So at an early age, I had homosexual experiences.
I haven`t seen her in years, but back when I was on FaceBook, I got a friend request from her. Turns out she is now morbidly obese, and a complete failure at life. Not that I am so much better, but it was a good thing that she didn`t turn out to be a star exactly.
I remember being in a basement with this girl bent over on the floor, and Anne forcing me to penetrate her anally with a bibycle pump. What a satanic, evil bitch! I know where she works and always avoid it, but one of these days I want to go in with a baseball bat and bash her head in for what she did to me and so many other girls.
One girl was standing on a chair and fell down, and a part of the chair penetrated her. Anne laughed so hard and even took the part of the chair that was broken off, and put it deeper inside her.
One time we had a “competition” to avoid being the one who everyone else peed upon. I am glad it wasn`t me who lost, but we all took turns, on Anne`s command, to pee on the loser. One girl drank a lot of water to be able to pee, but had an “accident”, and defecated all over her.
I am now a christian and am trying hard to forgive these people, even though I think they have a reprobate mind and God has given them up to these vile affections. I will leave this up as a testimony of what happened, as well as a lot more, to a broken girl who just wanted to be loved:
My name is Athena, and today I consider myself a new creation in Christ, filled with the Holy Spirit who tells me that I am beautiful and set apart, redeemed and delivered.
Thank you for reading my story.